It's Just A Dog by Ryan Russ

Author:Ryan, Russ [Ryan, Russ]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2013-12-15T05:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 11

LET TALKING DOGS LIE

I’ve never been a fan of talking dog movies, but now that we had a real-life talking dog in the family, the benefits were starting to grow on me. For one, you always know where you stand. There are no mixed messages, or worrisome behaviors, to cause misunderstandings. If the talking dog is happy, he belts out corny pop songs; if he’s mad, he cusses like a longshoreman; if he’s hungry, he gobbles the steak right off your plate. At least that’s how Pete behaved around us. Who says a dead dog can’t teach you new tricks?

And what’s more, this ghostly Pete thrived in his new big brother role, taking Brownie under his wing to show her the ways of the dog world, as well as how to manipulate her daddy. He taught her how to train me to take her for longer walks, buy her more goodies at the pet shop, and heap larger servings into her food bowl. Granted, it didn’t take a genius to push the right buttons since I was such a soft touch.

Pete was also very helpful because he could translate Brownie’s minor ailments and allergies that were previously impossible for me to detect. This, of course, didn’t stop him from busting my balls, as he wasn’t shy about expressing his views on my life with “The Rebound Dog”, as he cynically referred to Brownie.

“Dude, don’t baby her. Make her work for it,” Pete goaded me at the dog park after I had tossed Brownie a treat, even though she hadn’t moved a muscle to fetch a tennis ball I’d thrown to her. “I used to have to run to Tijuana and back to get a treat out of you. This chick just tilts her head and you give her the whole bag.”

“So what, you’re saying I’m a bad parent?” I asked Pete. “I know I made some mistakes, but I did the best I could.”

“These pups today,” Pete took in the other breeds zigzagging across the field in their designer doggie duds and play gear. “When I was their age—”

“Yeah, yeah, we know, you used to have to walk five miles through the ice and snow to get to school every day.”

Then a gang of unleashed mutts came running over to sniff Pete’s backside, which irritated him.

“Yo, scram! Get outta here!” Pete woofed.

“Can those dogs see you?” I asked, considering that Brownie had been the only dog to show any reaction to him so far.

“Beats me,” Pete whapped them away with his tail.

“Sadie! Willow! Come here!” a female voice called, and I recognized it immediately, as Janelle walked up with five more used dogs in tow. My heart jumped. I hadn’t seen her since the night Pete had magically reappeared.

“Hi, Charlie,” she smiled.

“Uh-oh, here we go again,” Pete cajoled. “Okay, you distract her with some witty banter—and I’ll steal her bacon strips.”

“Pipe down,” I hissed. “How are you, JJ? I tried calling you, but I never heard back.”

“I know. It just got so crazy the last time I saw you,” she said.

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